My favorite flavors of Doritos all have “spicy” in the name, but these ones warn you how spicy they are by their color alone: They are fire engine red. The ingredients list gives no indication of what specific spices are providing the heat. Not even habanero itself is listed in the ingredients. This bothers me to no end.

This tortilla chip probably qualifies as the equivalent to hot sauce. Please don’t feed it to your kids as punishment, you might end up in jail.

Doritos, you have disappointed me.

Buttery’s Rating:

Magic Pop‘s consistency is slick and crunchy like that of a shrimp toast you might have consumed at a Chinese food establishment. It comes in a wide variety of flavors, including shrimp. We have tried plain and onion varieties. The onion variety is a bit too strong in its onioniness. The plain are pretty much tasteless, perfect for toppers such as butter or Nutella Hazelnut Spread, or butter AND Nutella! MMMMM!

Definitely worth a try. The full-sized Pops are pretty massive and could be used to make a delicate sandwich, but Kim’s also offers many other products including Mini Pops.

The fun fact about this product is that Kim’s Magic Pop is made with table top Magic Pop machines at your local grocery store, or you can buy your tabletop Magic Pop machine to make fresh Pops! (Photo courtesy of Alibaba.com)

Thanks to our friend in Pittsburgh for sending us the Magic Pops!!

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations

In honor of this snack’s name, it’s time to rewatch Practical Magic.

I kid you not, Newman’s Own Gorilla Grape Juice is fantastic with this snack.

Stacy’s Italian Harvest Pita Chips are delicious right out of the bag, but will be great served with hummus, a yogurt based dip, or even smeared with cream cheese! Definitely a winning flavor.

The only major downfall of this snack is that it is super crunchy, so the crunch is loud to by-standers but also you might want to be careful if you have any type of tooth problem where crunching on hard snacks might worsen your condition. Otherwise, a yummy homerun! Thanks, Frito-Lay!

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations

While snacking on these pita chips let’s watch a double header of The Italian Job (1969) and The Italian Job (2003).

If you’re a coffee drinker, brew some Starbucks Extra Bold Italian Roast Coffee on the strong setting to accompany this snack.

The Cheez-It was sufficiently hot and spicy and delicious. I actually ran out and bought Tabasco Green Jalapeno Pepper Sauce after trying this snack because I enjoyed its kick so much. The crunchy cheese puff included was lacking pretty much any flavor at all, and made no sense to me in the mix. Why have an inferior cheese flavored bite in your snack mix? Also, why two pretzels? The pretzels were yummy, but they weren’t seasoned with the Tabasco so they didn’t add to the hot and spiciness of the mix. The bread slice had a little of the spice coating them so were more delicious than the other added carbohydrates, but still not delicious.

This snack fell flat as a whole, but the actual Cheez-Its were delicious, so I recommend instead of buying the snack mix that you just buy the Cheez-It Hot & Spicy Baked Snack Crackers instead.

Cheez-It Extra Hot & Spicy Baked Snack Mix deserves points for being baked instead of fried. And the Cheez-It Hot & Spicy Baked Snack Crackers themselves deserve 5 buckets. I think Amazon agrees with my assessment, considering they don’t even sell the snack mix, but do sell the Cheez-It alone!

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations

Let’s watch Bend It Like Beckham while we eat this snack so we can dance to Arrow’s Hot Hot Hot while we enjoy the mouth burn.

A glass of milk brings the heat back down on your tongue.

Artisan Recipes Fire-Roasted Chipotle Tostitos are actually good for you, including in the heart-healthy way. All ingredients are 100% natural. Each serving contains 9 whole grains: white corn, white wheat, triticale, oats, rye, barley, millet, and buckwheat. It also contains dried pinto beans (a little *toot-toot* action) and whole brown rice. You really wouldn’t know how good these are for you because they taste so good!

Tastes a lot like Chili Cheese Fritos but without the greasy mess and heavy belly feeling after.

Fire-Roasted Chipotle Tostitos are delicious enough to eat alone, but a nice, fresh pico de gallo sauce would be a great topper for these chips! For my cheeseheads out there, try dipping these in some hot Wise Nacho Cheese Dip!

One bucket off for promising to be so good for you but still being fried instead of baked.

Finger lickin’ tasty! Visit Frito Lay to find a location near you that sells the Artisan Recipes line.

Buttery’s Rating:

Let’s get your scare on: Devil.

A Dos Equis Amber *with* lime pairs nicely.

A peruse through the Jalapeño Cheddar Tortilla Combos ingredients shows no jalapeño pepper specifically listed, only red pepper, so perhaps it’s part of the “natural and artificial flavors” ingredient because I can definitely taste authentic jalapeño pepper flavor in that cheddar cheese filling.

Jalapeño Cheddar Tortilla Combos are a perfect snack on their own or as a side dish bite to a yummy grilled chicken or tomatillo salad dish. And pop the Combos in the fridge for an extra spicy bite to the jalapeño!

Note: This snack is not for the faint at tongue! Popcorn almost fell over in his chair when he tried one. Also, please don’t touch your eyes or those of your pets after handling this snack.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations:

Believe it or not, Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper was the perfect thirst quencher to this salty snack.

Since there’s a fire in your mouth when you eat this snack, it only makes sense to watch a little Firestarter while you enjoy it.

Asteroids are actually crunchier than regular cheese balls, presumably because less oil is used to make the product which results in a drier snack. Also, the snack is fairly salty tasting so it’s definitely a good idea to have a beverage handy while eating them.

If you like Cheetos crunchy snacks you’re pretty much guaranteed to love Asteroids just as much. As with regular Cheetos, your fingers will definitely be coated with yummy cheesy goodness when you’re done eating them — a snack for later!

There’s never enough in only one package so save yourself the worry and indulge.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations:

How about a nice Sunkist? Nice and sweet to counter that salty.

And to continue the orange theme I recommend A Clockwork Orange (Two-Disc Special Edition). Nothing wrong with a truly bizarre dystopia film to go with your cheesy treat.

Each chip is cooked in 100% sunflower oil in small batches so they’re extra crunchy. Extra crunchy makes me extra happy, but does not equal extra mess. Sure, there’s a film of barbecue goodness on your fingers when you’re done eating them, but that just means you get to lick your fingers!

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations:

Fried Green Tomatoes (Extended Anniversary Edition) goes well with these chips since, let’s face it, they were making some mighty tasty barbecue in that movie!

Have a Coke and a smile!

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations:

A nice glass of ice cold milk washes this snack down perfectly.

Best eaten while watching Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil so you can secretly pretend you’re doing something evil while you feed your body something good.