It’s a viral war between the evil vs. the eviler… and it’s bloody.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it a good movie. But we’ll get to that.

It’s April 3, 2008 and the Reaper virus breaks out in Scotland, causing its victims’ faces to bubble and their bodies to basically rot. The virus is, of course, highly contagious and it takes no time at all for most of Scotland’s people to die from the disease. The UK government orders that Scotland be sealed off with a wall perimeter so that no one can go in and no one can get out. All of Scotland’s people are left to die. Fortunately for young Eden Sinclair (Christine Tomlinson), her mother is able to put her on a helicopter transport out of Scotland before the country is completely abandoned.

Flash forward to 2035 when the Reaper virus resurfaces, this time in England. Eden (Rhona Mitra) is called upon to lead a special ops team into the walls of Scotland to find a scientist named Kane (Malcolm McDowell) who presumably could help find a cure for the virus. What the team finds when they arrive is a large population of people immune to the virus who have forsaken any semblance of a lawful society (and why shouldn’t they since they were forsaken by the rest of society!) who are led by Kane’s son Sol (Craig Conway). Eden’s team is captured by Sol’s thugs but Sol’s sister Cally (MyAnna Buring) helps them escape and leads them to Kane who has crowned himself king of a medieval castle (yup, weird) where his people fear and follow him because they are led to believe there are no survivors outside the walls of Scotland.

This Mad Max meets Robin Hood meets 28 Days Later film sounds really good in print, but its execution on the main screen is a complete and utter letdown. Dark filming and close camera angles make it hard to see what’s going on during the action sequences. There were several gruesome scenes that were semi interesting, including total annihilation of an innocent bunny rabbit, shotgun blast to the head, machete to cut off a dead man’s hand, a man set on fire and roasted alive then carved for eating, several people being thrown into fiery explosions and burned to death, and several heads chopped clear off.

However, it seems that writer/director Neil Marshall put three stories together into one, none of them were particularly interesting, and none integrated in smoothly with each other. I found myself bored during the movie, fighting to concentrate or actually care about any of the characters. I love end of the world movies, particularly at the theater, so when I’m bored you know it’s really quite bad.

The ending is really unsatisfying, and obviously I can’t say too much more than that other than: hokey! Bob Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?) could have been great in this movie, but he was completely wasted, used simply as a plot device to tie in Prime Minister Hatcher (Alexander Siddig) to the story line and to bridge the gap between young and adult Eden.

One of the movie’s best attributes is its 6-song soundtrack, including a rendition of Fine Young Cannibals‘ Good Thing during Sol’s Mad Max-esque spectacle. Also, eye candy deserving of a bucket: Adrian Lester as Norton who doesn’t seem to ever agree with Eden’s plans of action and makes that known but follows her anyway with guns blazing. Yummy.

Go see this movie with your mother (which I did — hi, Mom!) so you have something to trash talk over lunch.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendation

We recommend some nice Buffalo Bills 3.5oz Honey Pepper Country Cut Beef Jerky so you can pretend like you’re part of the cannibal scene! Yummy people meat!

A Kamikaze is the only appropriate drink for the end of the world.

The tri-chocolate drizzle on top of the caramel covered popcorn alone puts this concoction over the top on sugar, and quite possibly makes it a diabetic’s public enemy number one. Besides the over sweetness (which before this, I never knew there could be such a thing) the problem is the severe lack of a distinct taste. We love each of the chocolates for their individuals flavors, but this carelessly throws them aside for an apparent sugar shock value.

The nuts never really stood a chance with this Frankenstein monster dominating them like the big bad bully in the schoolyard, but are the saving grace of the snack. While being lightly caramelized, they also seemed to avoid the multi-chocolate bath and only had one kind of chocolate or the other.

Popcorn’s Rating:

Such a funky snack deserves to be consumed while watching Funky Monkey to complete that craptastically funky experience.

We recommend having a few doses of insulin on standby.

Unfortunately, over the years the raisins in Raisinets are found more often than not to be dehydrated and lacking any sign of juice. This transforms the candy from a moist chocolaty treat to a chewy one. Sadly, while Raisinets continues to be the premiere choice in movie theaters, there are fresher brands of chocolate covered raisins out there. If the lesser known brands can make a moist chocolaty treat, then why can’t the premiere choice?

Popcorn’s Rating:

For a snack that is older than some dirt and has probably lost its juicy flair, we recommend the classic version of A Raisin in the Sun with Sidney Poitier. At least you’ll get some satisfaction from the screen if you end up dissatisfied with what was in the box.