“Life itself is filled with no reason.”

Watch the film with this as your mantra and it keeps weirdness in check. Mostly. Kind of.

A rubber car tire named Robert erupts from the desert ground as curious onlookers watch through binoculars. Robert rolls over a water bottle, crushing it. Then a living scorpion, crushing it. Then a beer bottle, which he has a bit of trouble crushing but finally succeeds when he builds up momentum and blows up the bottle with … his mind. Yes, Robert has a brain.

Because he knows he can, Robert begins destroying everything in his path with his telepathic head exploding power, including an innocent bunny rabbit and a crow. He then turns his focus to killing humans he doesn’t particularly like, humans who are tire biased. He quickly becomes a full-fledged serial killer on the loose and no one’s safe.

This atypical “horror” movie asks the question, can anything be made into the antagonist of a movie? This tire certainly succeeds in making an unstoppable threat. But the line is blurred between what is reality and what is make believe.

Rubber plays out as if Quentin Dupieux woke up from a very twisted dream and wrote it down in script form. It could be argued as an existentialist film, but honestly it just falls into an unsuccessful attempt to make a weird dream into a movie.

The end scene and song are truly the best part of the entire film.

Rubber is officially released in theaters April 1, 2011 or see it now on iTunes.

Buttery’s Rating:

Brach’s Maple Nut Goodies have a hard, stale texture. Part of the strange texture is a result of the gelatin used to solidify the cluster. The snack doesn’t taste much like maple, peanut, or toffee. The peanut isn’t a whole nut, it’s small pieces, so it’s hard to taste them.

Also, Maple Nut Goodies have a ton of allergens in them: milk, egg, wheat, peanuts, tree nuts, and soy. And, in case you missed the mention, there is gelatin in this product so it’s not vegetarian-friendly, since gelatin is made from animal bone and skin collagen.

There is nothing goodie about Brach’s Maple Nut Goodies. Very unsatisfying.

Note: The package of Maple Nut Goodies I reviewed has a Best By date of August 2011, in case you were wondering about “stale”.

Drink a nice Jones Candy Cream Soda to wash the taste of this snack out of your mouth.

Enjoy the zany Steven Martin and Madeline Kahn serial killer comedy Mixed Nuts with this snack.

The scent of the gum delivers strawberry shortcake! Albeit, with that fake sugar undertone, but at least it smells good! Then the gum hits my tongue and it tastes like I’m chewing Play-Doh with some confectioner’s sugar folded into it. It doesn’t taste like strawberry, it just tastes like fake sugar. Such a complete and utter letdown.

Also, not a fan of the slogan “Have your dessert and chew it too!” which is a rip-off of the misquoted version of “Eat your cake and have it too” that everyone says the opposite way because one person did and so now almost everyone does. Way to go, encouraging us to misquote John Heywood!

Each stick of gum is only 5 calories, so credit must be given to Extra Dessert Delights Strawberry Shortcake Sugarfree Gum for being a low calorie alternative to all the snacks we want to eat!

Phenylketonurics: Contains the dreaded Phenylalanine.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations:

A nice glass of milk would have gone well if this tasted like what it promised, so now we’ll use the milk to overpower the yucky flavor.

We’ll go Diary of a Wimpy Kid since this gum is so wimpy.

As a dark brown carbonated liquid, Pepsi is definitely sweet. In fact, it is so damn sweet it is almost sour to the tongue! It has an acidic aftertaste and is hardly a settling beverage.

With a foul sour taste, high calorie count, extremely high in sugar content, and not a single decent advertising campaign behind it… I can find no reason to voluntarily drink Pepsi unless it is as a beverage of last resort.

Popcorn’s Rating:


Edit: Buttery’s Disgruntled Counter-Rating:

While drinking the tart soft drink you should definitely watch Mommie Dearest (Special Collector’s Edition) to see just how crazy Pepsi executives can be. “NO MORE WIRE COAT HANGERS!”