It’s a viral war between the evil vs. the eviler… and it’s bloody.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it a good movie. But we’ll get to that.

It’s April 3, 2008 and the Reaper virus breaks out in Scotland, causing its victims’ faces to bubble and their bodies to basically rot. The virus is, of course, highly contagious and it takes no time at all for most of Scotland’s people to die from the disease. The UK government orders that Scotland be sealed off with a wall perimeter so that no one can go in and no one can get out. All of Scotland’s people are left to die. Fortunately for young Eden Sinclair (Christine Tomlinson), her mother is able to put her on a helicopter transport out of Scotland before the country is completely abandoned.

Flash forward to 2035 when the Reaper virus resurfaces, this time in England. Eden (Rhona Mitra) is called upon to lead a special ops team into the walls of Scotland to find a scientist named Kane (Malcolm McDowell) who presumably could help find a cure for the virus. What the team finds when they arrive is a large population of people immune to the virus who have forsaken any semblance of a lawful society (and why shouldn’t they since they were forsaken by the rest of society!) who are led by Kane’s son Sol (Craig Conway). Eden’s team is captured by Sol’s thugs but Sol’s sister Cally (MyAnna Buring) helps them escape and leads them to Kane who has crowned himself king of a medieval castle (yup, weird) where his people fear and follow him because they are led to believe there are no survivors outside the walls of Scotland.

This Mad Max meets Robin Hood meets 28 Days Later film sounds really good in print, but its execution on the main screen is a complete and utter letdown. Dark filming and close camera angles make it hard to see what’s going on during the action sequences. There were several gruesome scenes that were semi interesting, including total annihilation of an innocent bunny rabbit, shotgun blast to the head, machete to cut off a dead man’s hand, a man set on fire and roasted alive then carved for eating, several people being thrown into fiery explosions and burned to death, and several heads chopped clear off.

However, it seems that writer/director Neil Marshall put three stories together into one, none of them were particularly interesting, and none integrated in smoothly with each other. I found myself bored during the movie, fighting to concentrate or actually care about any of the characters. I love end of the world movies, particularly at the theater, so when I’m bored you know it’s really quite bad.

The ending is really unsatisfying, and obviously I can’t say too much more than that other than: hokey! Bob Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?) could have been great in this movie, but he was completely wasted, used simply as a plot device to tie in Prime Minister Hatcher (Alexander Siddig) to the story line and to bridge the gap between young and adult Eden.

One of the movie’s best attributes is its 6-song soundtrack, including a rendition of Fine Young Cannibals‘ Good Thing during Sol’s Mad Max-esque spectacle. Also, eye candy deserving of a bucket: Adrian Lester as Norton who doesn’t seem to ever agree with Eden’s plans of action and makes that known but follows her anyway with guns blazing. Yummy.

Go see this movie with your mother (which I did — hi, Mom!) so you have something to trash talk over lunch.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendation

We recommend some nice Buffalo Bills 3.5oz Honey Pepper Country Cut Beef Jerky so you can pretend like you’re part of the cannibal scene! Yummy people meat!

A Kamikaze is the only appropriate drink for the end of the world.

Iron Man May 2, 2008 - Considered one of the most highly anticipated movies of not just the entire comic book industry, but of the year, Iron Man appears poised to be taking the place of Spider-Man in the Marvel summer line-up as one of the first films out for the summer movie going season. While trailer viewings have revealed it as effects heavy (which is to be expected with a summer blockbuster nowadays) and quickly paced, Iron Man also appears to be the vehicle of revival to Robert Downey Jr.’s acting career. Before the movie has had even one box office receipt, there are rumors of making it into a full trilogy over the next 6 years. Is it all hype and fanboy pipe dreams? There’s only one sure way to find out… to go and see it.

The Dark Knight July 18, 2008 - The untimely loss of Heath Ledger to the world has placed a new perspective on his portrayal of the Joker, who was already the primary focus of The Dark Knight marketing campaign. The tragedy aside, the second outing for Christian Bale in the role of Batman/Bruce Wayne looks to cement his position in the role for a third film to create a formal and solid trilogy out of the property for a base, which it lacked during its last outing with the studios. Of course, the true test of any trilogy is its sophomore edition, and from the looks of it Dark Knight will surpass Batman Begins in both action and pacing to quite possible become THE blockbuster of the summer. On a casting note, while we are happy to see the Cruise Controlled Katie Holmes away from the film, we can only hope that the delicious Maggie Gyllenhaal can be the actress that sheds some light into the darkness for more than one feature.

Hell Boy II: The Golden Army July 11, 2008 - Four years after the original Hellboy hit the screen in true love story fashion, Ron Pearlman thunders back to the big screen as the cigar chomping demon from another dimension who has an unusual attraction to pussy… cats. This time around it seems that Hellboy will be battling creatures from the mythical underworld as opposed to a different dimensional plane. No matter which way you cut it, the trailer shows more of the hard pounding action with the humor that made the original such a cult success. Reprising her role as Hellboy’s love interest and spontaneous combuster Liz Sherman is the lovely Selma Blair. I am a strong believer and prophetizer that the original Hellboy was at the very base a love story, and I truly hope to see more of the same. Comic book characters can love too, ya know?

Punisher: War Zone September 12, 2008 - With Ray Stevenson taking over the role of Frank Castle from Thomas Jane, the hope of a decent movie from Punisher fans withered on the vine. Although 2004’s The Punisher with Jane was a gigantic improvement over the 1989 straight to video version with Dolph Lundgren, it still lacked the box office pizazz that movie executives have come to expect. The direction this sequel was determined to go in apparently drove Jane off the project, to be replaced by Stevenson which in itself may not necessarily be a bad thing visually, but can negatively impact the film for continuity if they are looking to make this into a regular franchise.

The Incredible Hulk June 13, 2008 - The possibility of having an incredible franchise based on The Incredible Hulk rests in the hands of Edward Norton. This is by far one of the least anticipated movies since the sour taste from Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk still has not been washed away. When I first heard about it, I wasn’t moved to joy. The trailer, although clearly showing Abomination, failed to thrill me. I will see it because I believe that Norton will in fact make the magic that is not CGI oriented to bring Bruce Banner to life. In the off chance that he doesn’t deliver, then I can always hope that Bruce Banner and Betty Ross have a love scene during which the condom breaks, enraging Banner, causing him to change into the big green brute, and therefore annihilating Betty Ross in the process. THAT would pretty much guarantee no sequel… or would it?

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To beat the sweltering summer heat, drink only Coca-Cola when at the theaters. If your theater doesn’t sell Coca-Cola, but rather that blasphemous corporate mongering cola, then you really need to find a new theater.

This is not your typical gangster movie.

American Gangster stars Denzel Washington as 1970s New York mobster-driver-turned-drug-lord Frank Lucas who learns all his tricks from his boss Bumpy Johnson (Clarence Williams III, uncredited) before Bumpy dies of a heart attack. Wanting his cut of the drug action dominated by Italian mob families, Lucas devises a scheme to have very pure heroin sent by US military planes from Asia to the United States during the Vietnam War. He markets his product under the name Blue Magic and sells it on the streets for half the price of product that is half as pure. Lucas gives each of his brothers front businesses in Harlem so that they can distribute the drug.

It does not take long for Blue Magic to fall into the hands of Detective Javier Rivera (John Ortiz) who overdoses on the drug. His partner, Detective Richie Roberts (Russell Crowe), decides to avenge his partner’s death by figuring out who is the mastermind behind Blue Magic. The trouble is getting anyone legitimate to believe that a black man no one has really heard of, rather than the typical Italian mob boss, could be the kingpin of such an innovative and wide-spread drug trafficking project. In order to protect his business investments and his family Lucas will do anything, including murder other mob members. It’s amazing how absolutely humble but evil Frank Lucas can be — a true Jekyll and Hyde.

Both Washington and Crowe deliver outstanding performances as antagonists who don’t actually know they are antagonists. Washington is convincing in his role as a man from the streets who wants better for his family. He does not overact as a street thug, and does not overact as a drug lord. He portrays the character in a way that makes the audience empathize with his situation, which would be impossible for most actors to do. Crowe does the same, portraying the street smart detective who tries to play by all the rules and keeps feeling the hardships that result when no one else around him is playing by those same rules. The equally incredible performances make it difficult for an audience member to decide which character to root for, so I ended up rooting for both of them.

The cinematography of this movie is what I would consider spectacular. The raw, grainy footage of the street shots matches the seedy subject matter, while the richly colorful and crystal clear “glamorous life” footage almost make you forget that many lives were ruined in order for Lucas to acquire and maintain that lifestyle. The music stays true to the period, a mix of blues, R&B, and soul tracks, with a little insertion of rap and hip-hop to relate the film to the 21st century audience.

The movie did have its slow moments, but they fit into the story line appropriately. My biggest complaint is the rushing of the ending. To tie up all the loose ends of many story lines the last 15 minutes of the film seem accelerated, hurried, and could be a bit confusing if you’re not used to watching a lot of gangster movies. I have a slight bias of loving movies about the 1970s, perhaps because that’s the decade I was born in, and despite its questionable historical accuracies/inaccuracies I still give this film a high mark for a fantastic cast, intriguing plot development, and perfect balance of brutality and humanity. The strangest part about this movie is that if I didn’t know it was based upon a true story I would have thought it completely unbelievable, which is actually one of the points of the film — no one expects some no name from the South to show up in Harlem and take over the drug scene.

It should be noted that many of the details in the movie were changed for the Hollywood effect. There is a great deal of debate regarding the “facts” of Lucas’s role in the trafficking of heroin from Asia to the United States. For more information about Frank Lucas watch the documentary SUPERFLY The True Untold Story of Frank Lucas The American Gangster and read New Criminology’s article Frank Lucas, “American Gangster,” and the Truth Behind the Asian Connection.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendations:

Best enjoyed with Nestlé Giant Pixy Stix — particularly the blue variety.