In a tragic turn of events, Baby Doll (Emily Browning) accidentally kills her sister while trying to protect her from their truly evil stepfather. With no other guardian to protect her, Baby Doll is sent to a worse fate than a life as her stepfather’s sex slave: She’s sent to a Vermont mental institution where she is scheduled to receive a lobotomy on her fifth day there.

In a desperate attempt at self preservation, Baby Doll begins a mission to save herself and as many of the other patients as possible. The world of burlesque dancing and implied sex slavery collides with a video game style warfront where Baby Doll and the other captors fight their way to freedom.

But is either world real, or just a splintered figment of Baby Doll‘s traumatized imagination? And does anyone actually give a shit?

I didn’t know much about this movie going into it, but I definitely was not ready for what was delivered to me. I was disgusted by the sexualization and understory of sex crimes committed by piggish men on underage girls. I should have let the girls’ costumes give that much away to me, but in my defense Sailor Moon and the gang aren’t under constant threat of being sexually assaulted while they fight evil in sexy costumes.

The war scenes were all about the girls kicking enemy ass to obtain objects that would help them escape the maximum security institution, but the scenes just did not captivate me.

As a native born Vermonter, I must defend my homeland by saying we don’t have sex dens posing as state run homes for the mentally ill. Vermonters wear flannel and shitkicker boots, not bedroom romp outfits and fuck-me pumps. So unrealistic.

Hated the plot, hated the ending, the stylization of the film didn’t fit the storyline, and the only reason I didn’t walk out with the other people who left disgusted during the film is because I was with a group of people who were enjoying the on-screen eye candy and they had the car keys.

All that said, I am absolutely certain that Jamie Chung (Amber) will have a long and successful career if she so chooses. She has that “it” factor.

Order your tickets to Sucker Punch online through Fandango or Moviefone.

Buttery’s Rating:

Staff Sargeant Michael Nantz (Aaron Eckhart) is at the end of a long career with the marines, and has the emotional battle scars from a failed mission to prove it. On the day he signs his papers to retire honorably an alien invasion strikes the earth and all hands are back on deck in Los Angeles to defend the territory for human annihilation.

As the troops learn of the extent of the alien takeover, and that all humans in their path are being destroyed, Nantz goes through his own journey of redemption to make himself and those around him believe that the choices he made in the past were the best given the circumstances.

This movie is a terrifying and visually mind blowing experience. The aliens who arrive to colonize the earth are here because they need one of our most precious and abundant resources: water. Considering that I have the mind of a curious child, it occurs to me to wonder why aliens would choose a planet with water where the indigenous population is so advanced in their technology and sentience, and therefore their ability to defend and learn and change strategies when one isn’t working. I understand that we think we’re the only planet with liquid water in the entire universe, but if that were the case… how would these aliens need our water?

There are some moments in the film that make you think perhaps part of it was rewritten on the fly (specifically: the discovery the humans make of knowing how the aliens are able to track them seems to be introduced several times, there are some discrepencies in the daylight vs nighttime, the seemingly unending supply of expendable people in the troop despite there not being that many people to begin with, Aaron Eckhart‘s voice changing from his regular voice to a gruff whisper, and Michelle Rodriguez‘s character seems to be a little too knowledgeable a little too quickly about the entire troop of marines). These are easy to overlook because the special effects of the aliens and their warcrafts are amazing.

The door for sequels is left open. Battle: New York, anyone?

Definitely worth a watch on the big screen despite all the plot oddities mentioned. Be sure to have a hand to hold and some popcorn to stuff in your mouth. And if you’re compelled to laugh when something bad happens, just go with it.

Order your tickets to Battle: Los Angeles online through Fandango or Moviefone.

Buttery’s Rating:

John (Alex Pettyfer) is Number Four of nine specially powered beings from the planet Lorien that form the Garde, guardians of Earth from the Mogadorians whose sole mission in life is to decimate all in their path. Because the people of Lorien stand in the way of the Mogadorians taking over Earth, the Mogadorians seek to find and destroy each of the Garde before taking over the planet. Numbers One, Two, and Three have already met their demise at the hands of the Mogadorians, and John is next. He and his protector guardian Henri (Timothy Olyphant) flee their west coast town for life in quiet Paradise, Ohio. Unfortunately for John, he is unable to keep out of the public eye as he tries to control his new-found superpowerful gifts and his face keeps popping up all over the internet where wandering Mogadorian eyes can track him.

Timothy Olyphant is a show stealer as John’s protector Henri, mascarading as his father to the human world. His acting is brilliant, despite the inconsistencies in plot line given to his character. And the beagle dog who wanders into their lives on a stormy night, affectionally named Bernie Kosar, proves to be an important character to the storyline. (Dogs always do…)

There is extreme attention to small details — if a car is damaged or a shirt is ripped or a table is turned, those items never mistakenly go back to their pre-disturbed states throughout their time in the storyline. What is lacking here is attention to a few of the bigger details: We want more action, which we don’t really get until the last 20 minutes, and less boring build-up of the love story between John and Sarah (Dianne Agron), less high school angst, more plausible technology storyline. (Henri can wipe John‘s photos off the internet but can’t get through a firewall to take down a video so leaves John unprotected and goes to the home of the people with the website… uhhhhhhhh, for-really?) Also, number Number Six‘s (Teresa Palmer) involvement in the storyline is phenomenal when she finally gets in there, but she wasn’t in enough of the movie. John and Number Six‘s abilities are spectacularly well displayed, no complaints on how those were shown off. My personal favorite is John‘s built-in flashlights.

This is one of the better movies that Michael Bay has produced, but the storyline deserved a bit of tightening up to make it more plausible. Just because beings from another planet are involved doesn’t mean you can leave your audience scratching their heads on why or how certain parts of the story are supposed to be believable.

The door is left wide open for many more sequels. If more focus is made on the action and back story of the struggle between the Loriens and the Mogadorians the sequels will be worth making.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendation

Since John and Henri are always on the run, I recommend On The Border Cafe Style Tortilla Chips as well as their Medium Salsa for snacking.

What could be more perfect with these chips and salsa than On The Border Frozen Margarita Mix, added to some yummy tequila?

Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) grew up with the disapproval of his father James (Tom Wilkinson), a shrewd businessman who always put his newspaper, “The Daily Sentinel,” at the top of his priority list. As rebelion to his father’s uncaring, Britt led the party boy lifestyle until one day he learned on the news that his father died of a heart attack and that he now owned the very newspaper his father abandoned him for. His father’s mechanic Kato (Jay Chou) is the only person Britt trusts to make him a good cup of coffee. When Britt bonds with Kato over unhappy memories of his father the two have a drunken night of cut the head off Dad’s memorial statue. While they are finishing the cut they witness a gang rob a couple walking down the street. Britt tries to help the couple but ends up on the ground in a knocked out pile while Kato takes out every member of the gang. From this event Britt decides the pair should become superheroes posing as villains and use the newspaper Britt‘s father left him to publicize their antics and to actually fight the gang crime that seems to be taking over Los Angeles.

Seth Rogen wrote this script with Evan Goldberg so it is far from the original serious villain concept, venturing into slapstick comedy with a martial arts twist. And of course Seth Rogen took the lead role as The Green Hornet for himself, but I did not feel the connection to his character because of it. Seth Rogen is a great funny man, but his attempt to pull off the Green Hornet character was a flop. Jay Chou as Kato stole the show, as did Cameron Diaz who played Britt‘s secretary and both Britt and Kato‘s love interest, Lenore. The special effects were spectacularly awesome and the villainous gang lord Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz) was both hilarious and terrifying. It was great to see Edward James Olmos on the big screen (we yelled out “Adama!” when we saw him) as both James‘s and Britt‘s trusted newspaper confidante Axford. David Harbour‘s two faced role as District Attorney Scanlon was predictable at best, and I’m very happy with how the movie left his character.

The local theater where we saw the film only offered this movie in 3D. But it was post-filming 3D so everything looked layered instead of 3-dimensional as it should. I wish we didn’t have to waste our money on the 3D, nothing interesting happens with it, but it’s only available in theaters in 3D. This movie is, however, worth sitting in the dark theater for because it is action packed and does have a lot of inside joke references that are fun to laugh at because you’re in the know.

Purchase your tickets to see The Green Hornet 3D through Fandango.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendation

In honor of Chudnofsky renaming himself Bloodnofsky, we feast on Herr’s Heinz Ketchup Flavored Potato Chips.

Let’s drink some IZZE Fortified Sparkling Apple Juice. Why? Because it’s GREEN!

This is going to be quite the ride.

In this sequel to the original TRON (1982) we begin in 1989 with a scene of a CGI 30-something version of Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) teaching his son Sam (Garrett Hedlund) about the grid and promises he will take Sam there one day. Fast forward to present day. Flynn has been missing since that fateful night in 1989. Sam is now the major shareholder at ENCOM, the company his father Flynn started with Alan (Bruce Boxleitner). On the day of the newest OS launch and public trading on the Tokyo Stock Exchance Sam prefers to realize his father’s original dream to make the ENCOM software be free (open source rules!) instead of cost money (my Bill Gates alarm went off when they mention that the only improvement to version 12 is that there’s a 12 on the box) and hacks into the system to give the source code to the world.

And then the movie turns to its true purpose: Alan tells Sam he’s received a message from Flynn and Sam returns to Flynn‘s arcade where the first TRON began to try to figure out the mystery of where his father has gone to. Sam stumbles upon the gateway to the grid and finds himself in the game against Flynn‘s clone, Clu, and against Tron (Bruce Boxleitner) who has turned to the very dark side as Clu‘s lackey. While Sam is fighting for his life in the game an unknown ally, a woman named Quorra (Olivia Wilde), rescues him and brings him off road from the traversible pathways of the grid to her master’s home. Guesssss whoooooooo? Yup, it’s a much older Flynn, trapped in the grid for all this time against his will and forced out of his role as the benevolent creator when Clu turned Tron and all the Programs of the grid against him.

It’s a fast paced light cycle race to see who makes it to the portal first, back into the “real world” where Flynn and Sam just want to live their normal father and son life again while Clu wants to rid our world of its imperfections, certain doom for our extremely imperfect IRL.

This movie is best described as original TRON meets Star Wars Episode IV meets The Fifth Element. Good versus evil is the underlying theme, and for once I am not offended by the overlying theme of creationism. Others compared this movie to the Skynet of The Terminator series, so I mention it for your sake. I personally don’t find the Programs fight-worthy of the comparison to the Terminators, the Programs are too easily destroyed (one keystroke, metaphorically and literally speaking). Also, unlike the borg-like uncaring of the Terminators, the Programs have a rousing coliseum-type moment that reminded me of Joaquin Phoenix‘s thumb up/thumb down scene in Gladiator.

The TRON: Legacy soundtrack is just that — it adds tension and emotion to the movie without pulling you away from the storyline and acting of the characters. I mention this specifically because, as a Daft Punk lover, I want to address the complaints I have seen without trying that the Daft Punk soundtrack to the movie is just a series of sounds and partials, not a complete album. This is Daft Punk‘s contribution to an incredible movie, their purpose was not to rename this film Daft Punk’s TRON: Legacy, and they get their time on the screen during the scene at the bar. (Who shot first?)

TRON: Legacy is the only movie I have ever enjoyed in 3D. The special effects were phenomenal, blending both 2D and 3D sequences to give this film a distinct dual world feel. No other movie has ever been worth wearing the glasses over my glasses that actually correct my vision. And little did I know back in 1982 at the tender age of 8 that I would grow up to be a geek and truly appreciate the command line power of the grid. Flynn is Superuser, even more powerful than god, and is the creator of an entire world underneath the arcade. Blows my mind. Or, as Flynn would say, “totally radical.”

Bravo, Walt Disney. Bravo.

Purchase your tickets to see TRON: Legacy 3D through Fandango.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendation

A nice SuperPretzel King Size pretzels with hot nacho cheese is perfect for watching this movie. Get the Pretzel Bites if your theater sells those!

All things Coca-Cola quench your thirst during this fast paced masterpiece.

Warning: It is absolutely impossible to discuss this movie without giving away some of the good stuff, so some spoilers await you.

In part 1 of the final sequel in the Harry Potter series, the wizarding world is turning to the very dark side. With the death of Albus Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the only hope to keep good wizards and witches from the peril of Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) is Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe). After Voldemort‘s evil group of lackeys take over the Ministry of Magic, Harry is forced to go on a quest with best friends and lovebirds Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) to search for and destroy Horcruxes, objects that contain a part of a wizard or witch’s soul when they die. If Voldemort beats Harry and his friends to the Horcruxes he will become immortal and all hope will be lost.

Albus has left objects to Harry, Ron, and Hermione in his last will and testament. They don’t understand right away that the objects will help them on their quest to find the Horcruxes, but thankfully they take them on their journey anyway. The one object that Dumbledore promised that was not delivered was the sword of Godric Gryffindor which Harry had used to kill a basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione use polyjuice potion to enter the Ministry of Magic undetected and stumble upon Salazar Slytherin’s Horcrux, a locket that no one has been able to destroy. They have no idea how to destroy the Horcrux either, but when Harry wears the locket for too long his thoughts become dark and paranoid, so the three decide to take turns wearing the locket to keep it protected from Voldemort‘s henchmen but also keep any one of them from going too crazy from the evil it possess. Hermione uses her gift from Dumbledore to determine that the sword of Godric Gryffindor will destroy the locket. Unfortunately, Ron wears the locket a little too long and becomes paranoid that his girlfriend Hermione is more than just friends with Harry. He gives the locket to Harry but then leaves him and Hermione to finish the journey.

Harry and Hermione are forced to continue the quest for the sword without Ron and must apparate to different locations to escape Voldemort and the Ministry of Magic. Hermione‘s sadness over Ron‘s abandonment is short lived when Ron uses his gift from Dumbledore, a Deluminator, which leads Harry to where the sword is hidden. Ron rejoins the duo and they find themselves on the doorstep of Xenophilius Lovegood (Rhys Ifans), father of Luna (Evanna Lynch), who explains that a symbol the three have seen appear in several places along their quest is that of the Deathly Hallows. He explains the story behind three brothers who try to cheat death and are given gifts for doing so, but each gift ultimately brings their demise. They then learn that Dumbledore‘s wand, which was buried with him, is the undefeatable Elder wand from the Deathly Hallows tale and that they must race to find the wand before Voldemort does.

This movie has beautiful locations, dark and foreboding cinematography, and perfectly emoted acting. I was terrified, I was sorrowful, I was happy, I was on the edge of my seat, and for at least one scene I was looking through my fingers until I finally jumped out of my seat. This is part 1 of the final book so its pace is slow to the denouement with the hinted promise of a roller coaster ride in part 2.

I find no faults with this film. It is perfect in bringing the book to the big screne and making its true fans anxiously anticipate its final part.

Popcorn’s addition: The body count was definitely higher in this movie than the previous ones.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendation

We recommend noshing on Harry Potter’s Cauldron of Treats Candy and Snacks Gift Basket.

A butter beer from The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios, Orlando would, of course, be the perfect beverage!