Theatrical Release Year: 2008
Director: Neil Marshall
Writer: Neil Marshall
Starring: Rhona Mitra, Sean Pertwee, MyAnna Buring, Nora-Jane Noone, Bob Hoskins
Length: 105 minutes
Studio: Universal Studios
MPAA Rating:

It’s a viral war between the evil vs. the eviler… and it’s bloody.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it a good movie. But we’ll get to that.

It’s April 3, 2008 and the Reaper virus breaks out in Scotland, causing its victims’ faces to bubble and their bodies to basically rot. The virus is, of course, highly contagious and it takes no time at all for most of Scotland’s people to die from the disease. The UK government orders that Scotland be sealed off with a wall perimeter so that no one can go in and no one can get out. All of Scotland’s people are left to die. Fortunately for young Eden Sinclair (Christine Tomlinson), her mother is able to put her on a helicopter transport out of Scotland before the country is completely abandoned.

Flash forward to 2035 when the Reaper virus resurfaces, this time in England. Eden (Rhona Mitra) is called upon to lead a special ops team into the walls of Scotland to find a scientist named Kane (Malcolm McDowell) who presumably could help find a cure for the virus. What the team finds when they arrive is a large population of people immune to the virus who have forsaken any semblance of a lawful society (and why shouldn’t they since they were forsaken by the rest of society!) who are led by Kane’s son Sol (Craig Conway). Eden’s team is captured by Sol’s thugs but Sol’s sister Cally (MyAnna Buring) helps them escape and leads them to Kane who has crowned himself king of a medieval castle (yup, weird) where his people fear and follow him because they are led to believe there are no survivors outside the walls of Scotland.

This Mad Max meets Robin Hood meets 28 Days Later film sounds really good in print, but its execution on the main screen is a complete and utter letdown. Dark filming and close camera angles make it hard to see what’s going on during the action sequences. There were several gruesome scenes that were semi interesting, including total annihilation of an innocent bunny rabbit, shotgun blast to the head, machete to cut off a dead man’s hand, a man set on fire and roasted alive then carved for eating, several people being thrown into fiery explosions and burned to death, and several heads chopped clear off.

However, it seems that writer/director Neil Marshall put three stories together into one, none of them were particularly interesting, and none integrated in smoothly with each other. I found myself bored during the movie, fighting to concentrate or actually care about any of the characters. I love end of the world movies, particularly at the theater, so when I’m bored you know it’s really quite bad.

The ending is really unsatisfying, and obviously I can’t say too much more than that other than: hokey! Bob Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?) could have been great in this movie, but he was completely wasted, used simply as a plot device to tie in Prime Minister Hatcher (Alexander Siddig) to the story line and to bridge the gap between young and adult Eden.

One of the movie’s best attributes is its 6-song soundtrack, including a rendition of Fine Young Cannibals‘ Good Thing during Sol’s Mad Max-esque spectacle. Also, eye candy deserving of a bucket: Adrian Lester as Norton who doesn’t seem to ever agree with Eden’s plans of action and makes that known but follows her anyway with guns blazing. Yummy.

Go see this movie with your mother (which I did — hi, Mom!) so you have something to trash talk over lunch.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendation

We recommend some nice Buffalo Bills 3.5oz Honey Pepper Country Cut Beef Jerky so you can pretend like you’re part of the cannibal scene! Yummy people meat!

A Kamikaze is the only appropriate drink for the end of the world.

Popularity: 43% [?]

Theatrical Release Year: 2008
Director: Martin McDonagh
Writer: Martin McDonagh
Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Ciarán Hinds, Clémence Poésy, Thekla Reuten, Jordan Prentice
Length: 107 minutes
Studio: Focus Features
MPAA Rating:

There’s nothing quite like a cat and mouse game in medieval Disneyland.

Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson) are two hitmen sent to Bruges, Belgium after an inexcusable botched hit in a London church. Their instructions are to lie low until their boss Harry (Ralph Fiennes) contacts them with further instructions. Problem is, Ray doesn’t find Bruges quite as charming as Ken or Harry do and he’s having a very difficult time not stirring up any trouble he can find in the medieval fairy tale land.

Instead of staying in the hotel to wait for Harry’s phone call, Ray and Ken take in some nighttime sights and meet up with an American dwarf actor named Jimmy (Jordan Prentice) and a Belgian drug dealer named Chloë (Clémence Poésy), both on set of a film being made in the streets of of Bruges. Despite having a good time with Jimmy and Chloë, Ray begins to fall into a suicidal state over the botched church job until he learns that his life is actually in danger because of that job.

Colin Farrell delivers a surprisingly amazing performance in this film. His non-politically-correct dialog about little people, gays, and the mentally challenged is embarrassingly hysterical. (You know you shouldn’t laugh out loud, but you do anyway, and so do the rest of the theater goers, so you’re all going to Hell together!) Also, his character’s crisis of conscience over his actions during the church-job-gone-wrong shows a tender and vulnerable side of him that is very uncharacteristic but brilliantly carried out. One of the running jokes of the movie is that Ray cannot stand being in Bruges, but the city is actually spectacularly beautiful and world famous for its medieval architecture, canals, and artwork, so watching the film take place in Bruges is a visual treat.

Slight spoiler: Two of the scenes near the end of the movie are very gruesome. Brace yourself.

Buttery’s Rating:

Recommendation

French fries with mayonnaise are a definite must while In Bruges.

A nice Belgian Hoegaarden Verboden Vrucht (Forbidden Fruit) will wash down those pommes frites as you watch Colin and Clémence run their yummy selves around the screen.

Popularity: 7% [?]